God changes our hearts

1Co 1:25-31 For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption,so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

It has been a long time since my last post and that has a lot to do with motivation and also a lot to do with God working on my heart at many things. Unfortunately my tendency is to have a prideful arrogant heart so it takes longer than I wish... I sure hope that I learn. Im not really sure why I put the above scripture up there God has put it on my heart so i decided to share it... I attended the Urbana Conference last month and God has impacted me quite a lot through it. I have difficulty however verbalizing that impact. So far the best I can put it for now is that God changed my heart. So starting with that what was the condition of my heart before Urbana. I will try and list good things and bad things... I have defiantly been lazy. I often try to fit God in with my schedule. I made few attempts to have real relationships with people... My heart desired God but I had forgotten something important. I think it was the fact that i felt no urgency to pursue my relationship with God. I had so much else to do with school and I was also lazy... and had asked no one to keep me accountable for anything. On the other hand I have been doing much better than before and despite being lazy and not diligent God really blessed me last semester. I think i had a thankful heart and i had a much more joyful heart than previous years.

So what happened at urbana... well a lot of stuff happened... there were speakers and seminars and friends and discussions and prayer. What did I learn... I think my heart started being changed during worship time... worship at urbana is very theatrical a little show for my tastes and I was a little put off by it... but I decided that too many flashing lights shouldn't hinder my worship in any way... For some reason i felt that God told me to look at my hands. And then He said I made those hands. Then I was convicted about many things all at once but i remember specifically the things about the hands.
A pet peeve of mine has always been how it seems that as Christians we spend more time searching after the american dream than we do after his plans. While I had this idea my mind i looked at my life and saw that I was on track with those Christians, and was not actively seeking out the plans that God has for my hands. I was kinda in awe at that point amazed that God created my hands 21 years ago with a plan for me to do his work and I have been wasting so much time and energy not seeking out what his will is for them. I started praying more during that time and I don't remember anything very specifically after that.
God also convicted me about love, and how I love others. God has been trying to show me what His love means for a long time and it came in bits and pieces and my understanding had been growing slowly and I guess I got another bit. I guess the "meat" of where I was convicted lies in the fact that I had a very selfish Idea of what love was. While this may sound funny i realized that God desires the hearts of terrorists to be His. He sent Jesus to die for them. I am a pretty self focused guy. I knew that Jesus came to save anyone... but i never thought about it in the way that... as a Christian I am supposed to love terrorists. I had a lot of anger in my heart towards many people... and I prayed at that moment that God take it away and let me love them the way he loves them. I prayed that all the weird people that I try to avoid... that God would put the love that He has for them in me. I prayed for all the people who I thought that I loved and prayed that any false idea of what love was would be torn away and that he could replace it with a love that I can't even begin to understand. I prayed that God would take everything that I claimed as my own. God convicted me that much of the hurt that I have experienced in my life was due to the fact that I did not love people with the love that God has but a selfish love.

God also reminded me that I need to pray with a sincere heart. God is full of power. So often we belittle God and try and fit him into our little mind... I realized that I need to seek God so much more than I do... So often i think that when I pray, that God will answer me by telling me something that will give an epiphany, and and that I will suddenly be enlightened and my desire do act correctly will increase I expect God to convince me to do the right thing rather than change my heart. As Corinthians 4:20 says For the Kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in Power. So often I try and I try to will and talk my self through my Faith. I rarely sit back and let God work in His full power and might. I think that is why I like the Scripture verse I put at the very top. So often I try and use my worldly faculties to do everything... But God is calling us to put less emphasis on our wisdom and ourselves... but lay them down... and allow Christ to work though us in ways that make no sense yet the Power of the Kingdom of God is in it. We must not allow ourselves to boast... because what we think we have done is nothing compared with what God wants us to do through Jesus Christ.

God Is Amazing